Broke Back

You’r my Broke Back
You’re my lifelong love
I cannot have

You’r the only one I love
too much… to expose you to me

You’r my misery and sadness
& my anger
You’r my guardian angel
and my best friend
my only friend

You see me like no-one does
even beyond my deepest
darkest depths
You love me - or something

You’ve become my life - line
my blood transfusion
my last hope in a dark world
my sunshine in an everlasting
dark sky

The soldier who took his hat off

Keep your hat on – its bullet proof
Yes, Captain, I’m just
scratching my ear

The conversation stopped
Lost
His body fell to the ground
empty
Blood Sprays out of the bullet hole in his head
the sign
he is no longer useful
His Loss
immediate

Move on
Walk on
to the next conversation
No time to mourn - machine
You have to fight
to win the war first

Then you can think about what
you just saw

Promises

Promises like words
have no significance in life
They are created and spoken
or even written
But until they are implemented
their only impact is
hurt & disappointment

You lost me…

U called me insecure
That killed me
U didn’t want me in or
near your territory – UR LOVER
WAS STILL IN IT & I WAS
(and never would be) NOT WELCOME

U ‘cared’ for me – as long as it
Was on your terms! Not according
to what’s best for my needs – that
did not count in this equation!

U couldn’t stand me – by yourself
U hid me as far away and as
often as you could!
U betrayed me – but it wasn’t your
fault
U promised……
- never to hurt me again
- so many empty promises
- U did not keep them
U used me - to get what you want
- to drive you around
- to be your escort when you needed
To show off
U denied me - when it was
inconvenient
U hated my roots before you
even saw them
U judged my family but betrayed
yourself to justify yours
U thought you knew me
You lost me before
you gave me a chance

This what I do

This is what I do
I wait
I wait to hear from
you
I wait to receive your texts
I wait to meet you
I wait to hear how you are
I wait to hear why you are
I wait for you to get back
I wait for you to come see me
I wait for you to finish
work
I wait for you before I eat
I wait for you to want me
I wait for you to show me
I wait for you to choose me
I wait
in vain
Then I start hoping
And I wait & hope
and I cry
on my own

Lesson?

Here’s what I’m learning
Choose your life
Choose your own life
with its perfections and its
imperfections
Choose it

Choose your partner
Choose the partner you have
with their perfections and their
imperfections
Fall
Fall in love with them as they
are and as they are not
Fall in love right now and
every moment hereafter

Chose to fall in love
Choose it
Live it
Love it
Choose it every moment.

Someone to talk to

An eager ear
An even more eager mouth

A challenging mind
Neverending thought processes

A questioning approach
Constant inquisitiveness

Major curiosity
The guts to follow through

Interest in I
And Interest in U

Together we’r a pair
Raising conversations hair